I Was Caught Streaking

“It’s ruined. I’m a failure.” I woke up in the middle the night and realized I hadn’t done a class on my Peloton app the day before. You see I made a commitment to myself starting January 1 (you know…resolution day) to complete 365 days of Peloton classes IN A ROW during the upcoming year. Cycling, Running, Yoga, or Strength (with a meditation or two wedged in for rest days). If you’re familiar with the app, or any app like it, little circles over the letters S M T W T F S indicate whether you are worthy or not. A check in a circle, great job. No check, not so much. I stared at the mark less May 4 on the mini calendar as it screamed inadequacy at me and let my head sink back into my pillow.
 
“I was doing so well!” “How did I forget?” “Why can’t I stick with anything?”
 
Then it dawned on me. It’s still yesterday in Hawaii. Nine o’clock in fact. With absolutely no hesitation and with the solid knowledge that I would never live this down in my husband’s eyes, I grabbed my phone, went to “Settings/Date & Time” and changed the time zone to Honolulu.
 
Don’t judge me.
 
A sleep meditation later and I was back in business.
 
What was that all about? Of course I knew I was being ridiculous, but for some reason the streak was THAT important to me. As if streaking said anything about who I really am. But my mind disagreed. If I just kept plugging along and checking off those circles day after day, then I would be in control, and being in control, like keeping streaks alive is important to a mind. Just keep it up and I'll certainly find myself basking in a future where I am safe, whole and fulfilled.
 
But I’ve been on to my mind for a while now and I know that I don’t have to achieve anything to be perfect and whole. Peace is our natural state. We just obscure it with our thinking and attachment to our many identities.

I would love to say that my streaker identity lightened up and I ignored the next time I missed a workout. It was 5am the day after another forgotten session...too late for a jaunt to Hawaii.

Have you ever heard of Pago, Pago in American Samoa? Just sayin'
 
What is your thinking telling you? I would love to talk and have you join me in the exploration of these ideas and more.